Conversations with a Butterfly
by kirayasha aka kira
Summary: This is a collection of stories written by myself and also with Vegachan centering around Jakotsu & Suikotsu's relationship.
1. Chapter 1: Learning

Learning

By kira

_ For Vega-chan…  
_

"You busy, Jak?"

"Do I look like I'm busy, Sui?" he replied. The cross-dresser was sprawled out on the veranda, the top half of his kimono bunched up around his waist as he lazily fanned himself. "It's too hot to do anything…"

"Too hot to molest Oo-aniki?" the claw-bearer asked as he sat down on the edge of the veranda.

"Yeah…Besides, Aniki-chan's asleep."

Suikotsu chuckled. "He threw you out, hunh?"

Jakotsu laughed. "Yeah… He said it was too hot to sleep together." The cross-dresser sat up and stretched, his supple movements reminding the claw-bearer of a cat.

"Good, then you're free to come with me."

"What's this? Ren too hot and tired to nookie with you too?"

Suikotsu laughed. "No. He's busy puttering around his workshop. This is free 'me time' and I decided to spend it with you."

"Oooo! I'm flattered. So what do you want to do then that doesn't involve nookie or sleeping?"

"Come, I'll show you," Suikotsu said mysteriously as he hopped off the veranda and started walking away. "It's in my room."

Jakotsu laughed. "You're luring me back to your room and it doesn't involve nookie?" he said incredulously. "This I've gotta see!"

"Then hurry up or you'll miss it."

The cross-dresser trailed after him, peppering him with questions, which the claw-bearer steadfastly refused to answer. Minutes later they arrived at Suikotsu's room, where they were greeted by Renkotsu.

"Sui, you brought me all the way here to see a half-naked Ren and you couldn't even have to good parts naked?" Jakotsu teased.

"Shut up, you freaky lil girl. I just came by to get my sketchbook, Sui. Have fun you two," the fire-breather said as he kissed his lover good-bye.

"Hey! Where's my kiss?" the cross-dresser teased.

Renkotsu and Suikotsu exchanged glances and after the claw-bearer gave him a subtle nod of his head, the fire-breather walked over to Jakotsu. Taking the cross-dresser completely by surprise, he pulled him into a tight embrace and kissed him long and hard. Breaking the kiss, Renkotsu chuckled at the startled look on the cross-dresser's face. "Seeya later, Sui," he said to his lover and as he continued on his way, Renkotsu reached out and fondled the cross-dresser's bottom. "Bye, Jak," he purred, and chuckling, he left the room.

Jakotsu stood there for several minutes, blinking as he tried to figure out what just went on. Shaking his head, he sputtered incoherently at the claw-bearer for several minutes.

"You wanted a kiss good-bye, Jak, and he gave you one, so what's the big deal?" Suikotsu said with all the patience a parent had for a favorite child as he looked up from where he had seated himself.

"But he grabbed my ass and shoved his tongue down my throat! Aren't you at least a lil bit pissed off by that?"

"No, because you asked for it. Now calm yourself down and come over here." He patted a spot next to him on the low table he was seated at. "I promise I won't molest you too, if that's what you're worried about."

"No…" the cross-dresser said as he came over and sat. "But why'd he do that?"

"He's tired of your nonsense and I told him the best way to put a stop to it is to give into to you. Like when you flirt with me and I flirt back? Well, even though you have been good and have all but stopped flirting with him, you still do it on occasion and it makes him uncomfortable. So he took my advice, while he was a bit aggressive, I think it had the desired result, right?"

"Yeah…"

"And one other thing, Jak, I've given Ren permission to do whatever it takes to get you to stop completely. And if that means jumping your bones…" He chuckled at the look of shock on the cross-dresser's face, "Then so be it. But I don't think it'll go that far. Besides, I don't think you can totally stop flirting the way a bird can't stop singing and Ren knows that like the rest of us do. But enough of that, I want to get to the real reason I asked you here." Suikotsu took a sheet of paper from the pile to his right and picking up his brush, he loaded it with ink and made a few quick strokes. He pushed the paper towards Jakotsu, who picked it up.

"That says your name."

"Really?"

"Yes. Want to learn how to write it?" The claw-bearer asked.

"Yeah! You think I can do it?"

Suikotsu nodded. "Yes, I do. Now watch me while I do it…" Suikotsu took another sheet of paper and picking up his brush again, he slowly wrote it out again. "Now you try," he said, handing the cross-dresser another sheet of paper and the brush.

"I don't know…"

"You can do it, I know you can," Suikotsu encouraged as Jakotsu sat there, brush poised over the pristine sheet of paper.

"I can't…"

"You can. Here, relax…." The claw-bearer took Jakotsu's hand and together they wrote out the characters that made up his name.

"I did it!" Jakotsu exclaimed.

Suikotsu smiled. "See? I knew you could do it. Now just keep practicing and when you think you've got it down, I'll show you something else." The claw bearer left Jakotsu hunched over the table, happily scrawling his name all over the sheet of paper, while he went outside and tended his herb garden.

When he returned, Suikotsu came over to check on Jakotsu's progress. "That's very good, Jak, you catch on quickly."

"Thanks…"

"Would you like me to me to show you how to write Oo-Aniki's name?"

"Please do!"

"Okay…" The claw bearer took the brush and slowly wrote "Bankotsu."

"You see this, Jak." He pointed to the second half of the name. "You see how it's the same as yours?"

"Yeah…?"

"You sure you see it?"

"Yup!" Jakotsu took the brush from the claw-bearer and wrote the second half of their names. "See?" he said smugly.

"Good! You've just read something…"

"Really?"

"Yes. And just for that I'm going to show you a little more. See this?" He wrote a word down. "That says 'Sweetness' and that," he wrote another one, "Says 'Dumpling.'"

"Amazing…"

"This says…" He wrote out a whole a whole sentence. "'Sweetness loves his dumpling.' You see the words for sweetness and dumpling? That one is 'loves.'" He pointed out the unfamiliar word.

"Can I try writing that?"

"Okay."

"Sui…?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you write 'Sweetness loves to eat his Dumpling'?"

Suikotsu laughed. "Must you bring sex into everything you do?"

"Yeah…" The cross-dresser giggled.

The claw-bearer shook his head and wrote it down. "Before you get the idea to start bugging me every two minutes to write something else, I want you to stop and practice what you have. When your handwriting looks as neat as mine, I'll teach you how to write everyone else's name. And if you're really good, next time I go into town, I'll look for a book of love poetry for you to copy from."

"Really?"

"Yes. When you know enough, you'll be able to write your own, and then I'll get you a blank book."

"A blank book?"

Suikotsu nodded. "You can write all sorts of bawdy stuff in it as well as serious stuff."

"Like a high class whore's pillow book!" The cross-dresser giggled. "Thanks, Sui."

"You're welcome. We'll make a geisha out you yet…"

"Yeah!! And then Aniki-chan'll never leave me because every man wants a geisha!"

"Exactly. But you do know they don't nookie with their clients?"

"What?! Where's the fun in that? And how do you know that?"

"Remember that last mission Ren and I went on?"

"Yeah…?"

"We got invited to a tea house."

"No shit! I've always wanted to see what a tea house looks like…"

"It looks like any other dining hall, except there was a woman there…" He chuckled at Jakotsu little sound of disgust. "She sang songs, and played games with us and just generally entertained us. You know, the kinds of things you do at dinner time to cheer us when a mission goes badly."

"Oh…"

"And you would have liked her kimono, Jak, it was a soft violet and it had iris sprays along the hem and butterflies. And it was long like some fancy lady in the emperor's court would wear."

"Really?"

"Really. I'll tell you more about it at dinner. Now if you don't mind, I want to take a lil nap. The heat has made me feel sleepy."

"Not you too!" Jakotsu playfully wagged his finger at the claw-bearer. He smiled. "It's okay, Sui. I want go see if Aniki-chan's awake. I can't wait to show this! Thanks, Sui…"

"You're welcome. No go, Jak, before I throw you out."

The cross-dresser laughed as he stood up. "Bye, Sui"

"Later, Jak," Suikotsu said as he tidied up the table, pausing long enough to watch his friend leave.

Jak made his way quickly back to the room he shared with his lover. He clutched his papers to his chest, and humming a bawdy tune, he imagined Bankotsu's reaction when he showed him the papers. As he approached that part of the house, Jakotsu hid the papers behind his back before he turned the corner and entered the little courtyard just outside their room. He smiled a greeting at his lover, who was sitting there waiting for him.

"Hey, Sweetness, where've you been all afternoon?"

"I was with Sui. Want to see what we did?" He smiled saucily at his lover.

"Okay…"

"Look! That says 'Jakotsu' and that's your name and that," he giggled, "says "Sweetness likes to eat his Dumpling.' Sui taught me how to write stuff and read a little while you were sleeping!"

"That's great, Sweetness."

"Yeah, and he's going to buy me a poetry book so I can practice writing and when I get good enough he's going to buy me a blank book so I can make a pillow book!"

Bankotsu smiled as he welcomed his lover into his arms. "I can't wait to read it."

"Hey, how come you never taught me to read and write?"

"Because I'm not much of a teacher for one thing and besides, with a pupil as pretty as you I'd be too distracted."

Jakotsu giggled. "You don't mind if Sui teaches me then..?"

"Nope. If this is what you want to do, it's okay with me."

"Thanks, Dumpling…"

"You're welcome, Sweetness," Bankotsu said as he leaned into Jakotsu for a kiss…


	2. Chapter 2: Role Reversal

Role reversal

By VegaSailor & kira

Bankotsu and his second-in-command, Renkotsu, had been gone for a few days, working out an agreement with a daimyo who lived about threes day away from them to the north. It was a rather routine visit, as they had done several jobs for him in the past, and it was something that Renkotsu could have accomplished on his own with far less fuss, but the daimyo preferred negotiating with the two of them. Things back home should have gone smoothly under Jakotsu's relaxed command and they did too, until the claw-bearer realized he was coming down with a cold.

As a precaution, Suikotsu cloistered himself in his room and while the cross-dresser missed his company at mealtimes, he mercifully left the claw-bearer to his own devices. Life went on with its familiar routine and the days passed by quickly, but not quick enough in the claw-bearer's humble opinion. He sat there, drinking a cup of tea before bed, while he looked through one of his lover's sketchbooks. As he turned the pages, memories came flooding back to him. With a heavy heart Suikotsu closed the book and blew out the candle. He closed his eyes, letting his thoughts drift to Renkotsu, before opening them. When they had adjusted to the dimly lit room, he stood up and went over to his futon and lay down.

Suikotsu slept fitfully. At first he felt very warm under the old kimono he used as a blanket so he took it off, only feel cold a few minutes later. What the claw-bearer never realized was that he was burning up with a fever. So his dreams took on a rather frightening and bazaar turn as his subconscious tried working out his fears for his lover.

"Ren, no!" Suikotsu cried out in his sleep.

Jakotsu, who had been sleeping in the main house, had the room next to the claw-bearer's. He woke up, and went outside to relieve himself, and while he stood there, emptying his bladder, he thought he heard Suikotsu crying out. "Sui…?" he said sleepily.

Inside his room, Suikotsu clutched his lover's pillow roll. "Ren… no…."

Finishing up, Jakotsu turned to head back inside his room, when he thought he heard the claw-bearer cry out again. "Sui…?" he whispered as he padded over to Suikotsu's door. Knocking softly, he said, "Sui…? Everything okay?"

"Ren… don't leave… me…"

Jakotsu banged on the shoji. "Sui?"

Suikotsu responded to the knock on his door by rolling onto his back, however, he was still caught up in his dream. "No! No!! Stop!!"

Jakotsu, thinking the claw-bearer was addressing him, said, "Okay," as he turned to go.

"No! Don't hurt Ren!!"

"Hunh?" Jakotsu said as he stopped in mid turn. _Hurt Ren?_ He turned back towards the shoji and cautiously slid it open. Quietly entering Suikotsu's room, he called out, "Sui…?"

The claw-bearer, having a nightmare, sobbed into the pillow roll, "No… no…"

Jakotsu was a bit freaked out to see Suikotsu so upset, but he rushed over to him, and kneeling, he placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sssh… it's okay, Sui. Ren's fine. He's not hurt at all…"

The gentle touch and soft words calmed Suikotsu and pulled him from his nightmare. "Jak…?"

"Yeah…? You okay, Sui? When I got up to take a piss I thought I heard you yelling and when you did it again I was sure I wasn't imagining it."

Suikotsu sat up and hugged the cross-dresser. Despite the relatively warm early autumn night, he was shivering horribly as he sank back into his delirium. "Oh gods… They hurt him… they killed him… I couldn't stop it…"

Jakotsu held onto him as he made soft little sounds of comfort. The cross-dresser hated how warm his friend felt to the touch and a slight edge of panic tinged his voice. "Sui, you're very warm… are you sick?" _Please don't be sick, Sui, cuz I have no idea what to do if you are…_

"Ren… oh… Ren… come back…" Suikotsu, delirious, called plaintively to his lover.

"Oh shit…" Jakotsu frantically tried to think of what to do to ease the claw-bearer's symptoms. "Ummm, Ren should be on his way home by now," he said soothingly when inspiration hit. "Sui, ummm… why don't you lie down again, and let me get a cool cloth for your head." _Oh gods, let that be the right thing to do here…_

The cross-dresser breathed a little sigh of relief when Suikotsu slowly complied. As soon as he was settled in his futon, Jakotsu got up and looked around the room for what he needed. He sent a silent prayer to the gods that claw-bearer kept a jug of water in his room for making tea and after finding everything else he needed, he knelt by his friend's side.

Since the claw-bearer appeared to be sleeping, he wasn't sure if he should still put the cold compress on his forehead, but he decided to do it anyway. "Feeling better?" Jakotsu said more to himself than to Suikotsu. _ I hope…_

"Is he coming back…?" Suikotsu whispered.

"Yeah, Ren'll be back in like two days."

"That's so long…"

"Well… not really, cuz it's almost the next day and then it's just that night and then he'll be here. I miss Aniki-chan too…" Jakotsu took the cloth, and dipping it the bowl of water, he wrung it out and put it back on Suikotsu's forehead.

"I just want to know he's alright…"

"Oh I'm sure he is. He's got Aniki-chan with him. And I'm sure they're having the time of their lives kicking ass and then some." Jakotsu smiled as he laid the back of his hand against Suikotsu's cheek. "You're still very warm, Sui…"

"I'm not surprised," Suikotsu said lucidly. "I don't feel well."

"Okay… Then what am I doing wrong? We can't have you sick when Ren gets back." Jakotsu smiled impishly. "You know he's going to want some nookie the minute he gets home…" He giggled.

Suikotsu smiled weakly. "You aren't doing anything wrong; the fever is only my body trying to fight the sickness."

"You sure…? I'm a lil scared, Sui, I don't like fevers."

"Yes… Just keep my forehead cool… I'll make some medicine after I sleep a little more."

"Okay…" Jakotsu took the cloth and dipped it in water again. After wringing it out, he put it back. "You don't hurt anywhere, do you?"

"My throat a little bit… but that's all," Suikotsu whispered drowsily.

"Would you like me to make you some tea?"

"No, it's not that bad…"

"You sure? I don't mind making it." Jakotsu sighed softly. "I just wish I had my kimono with me."

"Are you cold?"

The cross-dresser shrugged. "A little, but I can live with it. I'm more worried about Scary Sui waking up and thinking I was up to no good…"

"He won't."

"No?"

"He doesn't like coming out when we're sick."

"Oh…" Jakotsu yawned. "You know… I think I will make some tea. I need to stay awake so I can take good care of you. I don't want _him _getting mad at me when you're feeling better… or Ren for that matter." The cross-dresser got up and hunted around for Suikotsu's tea things. "Where do you keep your tea stuff, Sui?"

"In that basket in the corner…"

"Ah…" Jakotsu said as he spotted it. "Thanks!" The cross-dresser set to work, making tea for the two of them as he figured the claw-bearer was just giving him a polite refusal so as not to trouble him.

Suikotsu tried hard to fall asleep, but was afraid of his nightmares, so he chose to stare lazily at Jakotsu instead. He blinked a couple of times as he came to the realization that the cross-dresser was nude. "Are you naked…?"

Jakotsu giggled. "Yeah… I always sleep like this, except when we're on a mission."

"You should get your kimono on before you catch cold."

"Okay." The cross-dresser nodded. "And I'll get some more water for the tea too." He quietly slipped out, taking the jug with him, and went back to his own room. Jakotsu headed straight for his futon, where bent down and retrieved Bankotsu's sleeping kimono. Shrugging into it, he imagined his beloved was giving him a hug, as he tied it closed. Yawning, he picked up the jug and brought it out to the courtyard's fountain where he filled it. Minutes later he was back in Suikotsu's room. "I'm back…" Jakotsu smiled. "Miss me?"

"I did."

"Really?" Jakotsu giggled. He carefully poured some water into a pot and set it to boil on top of the room's small brazier. "I missed you too, Sui," the cross-dresser said as he came back and checked on the claw-bearer. Jakotsu took the cloth and dampened it, placing it back on Suikotsu's forehead. "You still feel very warm…"

"I think I'll be warm for a day or two until the fever breaks." Suikotsu stared at the cross-dresser. "That kimono looks odd, like it's a little too small for you."

"Yeah…?" He laughed. "It's Aniki-chan's. I couldn't find mine in the dark and since I knew this one was in my futon, I just grabbed it instead."

"Close enough… Oo-Aniki's clothes look good on you."

"You think?" Jakotsu smiled. "Let me go see if the water's boiled." He had no idea Suikotsu was delirious again as he checked it.

Suikotsu nodded tiredly. "Yeah, blue and white are good colors for you…"

"Yeah? Aniki-chan says I look better in purple."

The claw-bearer yawned and murmured, "Yeah, you look nice in that too…"

"Thanks, Sui." Jakotsu smiled. "I think you look nice in dark blue, but I think green would also suit you."

"I like the color blue. It's a nice neutral color."

"Yeah? Aniki-chan likes it too. Me, I like purple the best." Giving the water another look, he was pleased to see it had finally started to boil. "The water's ready; I'll make tea."

"Good; I think my throat's getting worse."

"Really?" Jakotsu said worriedly. "Is there anything I can get you for that?"

"Just the tea will be fine for now."

"You sure? I'll get you whatever you need!" the cross-dresser said as he brought the tea over.

Suikotsu shakily sat up and took the proffered cup. "Thanks…"

"Here, let me help you." Jakotsu moved over and helped steady the claw-bearer's hand, helping him drink the tea.

Suikotsu took a sip of his tea, and swallowing it, he said, "That's much better."

"Good…" Jakotsu sighed in relief. "I'm going to go get mine; wait here." He got up to do so; never dawning on him that Suikotsu would not stay in bed.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jak."

The cross-dresser looked over at Suikotsu. "Oh…" He started to laugh when he realized what he said as he came back with his tea. "That was stupid, hunh?"

"Hmmm? What was stupid?"

Jakotsu blinked. "When I told you to stay here…" He giggled. "But it was even funnier when you said you weren't going anywhere."

"Oh, heh. I wasn't trying to be funny." Suikotsu sipped his tea.

"Really? But you were!"

Suikotsu finished his tea and said softly, "I wish Ren was here so I could sleep."

"I wish Aniki-chan would hurry up and get back too…" The cross-dresser sighed. "You can sleep if you want, Sui, I'll just stay up and watch over you until Ren comes home. I'll be quiet, I promise!"

"It's not that; I can't even shut my eyes without seeing him in trouble."

"Really?" Jakotsu said softly. "Is there anything I can do so you won't see him in trouble?" the cross-dresser said earnestly. "We all know how tough Ren is, so I seriously doubt anything is going to happen to him, and besides, he's with Aniki-chan. The two of them can kick youkai ass with their hands tied behind their backs!"

"I know…" Suikotsu sighed. "I can logically think that way, but my unconscious mind worries about him and I can't stop and the fever's making it worse."

"Your what worries about him?" Jakotsu blinked in confusion. He reached over and took the compress off Suikotsu's forehead. "Shit!" he dipped it in the water, and wringing it out, he used it to wipe the claw-bearer's face. "You're right; you're twice as warm as you were before. Sui, there's got to be something I can do to get the fever to go away…" _I wish I knew what it was…_

"There's nothing you can do for the fever, just try to cool it as much as you can."

The cross-dresser nodded. "Ummm, Sui…? Would it help if we cooled the rest of you down?"

"The problem with that is I might catch even more cold."

"Okay…Ummm, maybe we should take some of the blankets off you then?"

"There's only the one, Jak…"

"Oh… Are you sure there isn't some medicine I can make for you to help you? If you tell me how to make it, I will!"

"Well, most of my medicines are to cure other symptoms; no herb can tell the body to stop heating up."

Jakotsu nodded. "What other symptoms do you have besides the fever and the sore throat? Maybe we can find a medicine to help you sleep more peacefully."

"None; just those ones. And the tea is fine for my throat. I just wish I had a medicine for my nightmares."

"Yeah… but the only medicine I know of that helps that is a nice warm body to cuddle up with."

"Will you stay with me for tonight?"

"Of course I will! I had no intention of leaving you, Sui." Jakotsu smiled. "I promise I'll stay awake the whole night and keep you cool and make you tea whenever you want."

"Thank you… I don't like being alone when I'm ill."

"You're welcome, Sui…" The cross-dresser took the cloth and rinsed it again, before gently wiping Suikotsu's forehead and the sides of his face. "It's the least I can do for all the times you took care of me when I was sick…"

"A poor doctor I would be if I didn't look after my friends."

Jakotsu frowned. "I'd say you are a very good doctor. I only hope I'm half as good as you are cuz I'd really hate it if you got worse cuz of me…"

"It wouldn't be because of you, it would be because the sickness was more than my body could handle." Suikotsu sighed. "Oh, if only Scary Sui had not gone out in that storm last night."

"He did? I thought I heard a shoji open, but I figured it was just the sound of the trees in the wind. Why didn't you tell me this morning? I would have brought you some breakfast in bed and I mean real breakfast, not the stuff Aniki-chan likes." He giggled. "And lunch too, and dinner! And I would have made you tea whenever you wanted and I would have told you stories…"

"I didn't think I was that bad off and I didn't want to worry you with my troubles."

"Sui, you can come to me any time with your troubles! I certainly come to you often enough. Promise me you will in the future, so you don't get sick again. I'll even listen to Scary Sui's troubles… and I promise I won't be afraid too!"

Suikotsu's eyes softened as he was genuinely touched by Jakotsu's remark. "Thanks Jak…"

Jakotsu smiled. "You're welcome, Sui," he said softly. "Now try and get some sleep, okay?" He reached out and patted the claw-bearer's shoulder, frowning slightly as he did not like how warm Suikotsu felt.

Suikotsu nodded and closed his eyes as Jakotsu sang softly to him. He tried to go to sleep, but his thoughts kept drifting back to Renkotsu and the danger he was in.

"Jak…? May I… May I rest my head in your lap until I fall asleep?"

"Yeah…?" Jakotsu said dreamily as he had started to nod off, but quickly jolted awake.

"What's wrong Sui? You need me to get you something?"

"May I rest my head in your lap until I fall asleep?"

Jakotsu blinked. "Ummm, sure… I just don't know how comfortable my lap is for sleeping though…"

"It might keep my nightmares away."

"Oh. Of course you can use me as a pillow!" The cross-dresser smiled and patted his lap. "Although, I'd feel much better if we could move closer to the wall, that way if I get sleepy, I can lean against it."

"Okay…"

"I'm sorry, Sui, but it won't take long to move everything. Just wait here…"

A few minutes later, the cross-dresser had everything moved into position. He knelt at the head of the futon, and moving his legs to the side, Jakotsu smiled and patted his lap again.

Suikotsu crawled over and carefully laid his head down in the cross-dresser's lap.

Humming softly, Jakotsu gently stroked Suikotsu's hair, unintentionally doing something that Renkotsu would do to soothe his lover.

"Mmmm, that's nice…" Suikotsu murmured.

"Yeah?"

"Just like Ren does it…"

"Really? Then you don't mind if I do it?"

"No… It feels good."

"Okay, so long as I'm not bothering you…" Jakotsu stroked his hair and said softly, "Now close your eyes and imagine I'm Ren if it'll make you feel better…"

"You don't mind me pretending you're Ren?"

"Not at all…" Jakotsu said with a smile.

"Thanks… you have soft hands."

"Thanks… but you'd have them too, Sui, if you didn't wash them so much."

"I'm a doctor; I need to keep my hands clean."

"Oh… Wait! What if you put something on them to keep them soft? Like a balm or something…?"

"I mean to, but I just forget to put it on."

"Hmmm…" The cross-dresser thought it over. "What if you pretend that Scary Sui is your patient and he has rough dry hands? You'd be after him to put it on, right? So maybe if you yelled at him, you'd remember?"

"All right, I'll try to remember."

"Good." Jakotsu smiled. "Now try and sleep, Sui, so you'll feel better tomorrow."

888

Suikotsu yawned and slowly opened his eyes. "Jak…?"

"Hmph…?" the cross-dresser said sleepily. "Aniki-chan…?" He, too, slowly opened his eyes and looked down at the weight in his lap. "Sui…?"

"Were you here all night?"

"Yeah," Jakotsu said as he stretched stiffly. "You had a bad dream cuz of your fever and I tried my best to make it go away." He felt Suikotsu's forehead. "I think it's gone too…" Jakotsu said amazedly.

"You didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did! You're always taking care of me when I'm sick, so why wouldn't I try to take care of you?"

Suikotsu looked up at him and smiled. "You're very sweet."

Jakotsu blushed. "Thanks…." he said softly, and feeling rather flustered, he quickly added, "Do you want some more tea for your throat?"

The claw-bearer got up and shakily made his way over to his bag of herbs, and pulling out a bundle of them, he handed it to Jakotsu, who took them.

"Add this to my tea; it'll help heal the tissue in my throat."

"Okay, but get back to bed, now! And I mean it!" Jakotsu said, although he softened the command with a smile.

Suikotsu smiled in return. "Yes, sir!"

Giggling as he added the herbs to the claw-bearer's tea, Jakotsu kept an eye on Suikotsu as he wearily made it back to his futon. Once there, he crawled under the kimono he used as a blanket and waited for his tea.

Jakotsu nodded in approval as he finished making the tea. "That's better. If you passed out on me, I'd have a helluva time picking you up." He grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, I am a bit on the heavy side, aren't I?"

The cross-dresser smiled impishly at him. "A little bit… I mean I could probably drag you over there if you were fully awake, but not if you were unconscious."

Suikotsu nodded and they had lapsed into silence until Jakotsu brought the tea over.

As he sat up and reached for the tea cup, Suikotsu caught sight of his rough, dry hands and sighed. "You know, my hands are really dried out."

"You said that last night and you're right about them. Do you have anything I can put on them for you?"

"No, not really," Suikotsu said, before sipping his tea.

"Hmmm… Do you have any softened beeswax… or some love oil lying around? That'll work too."

"Love oil?"

"Yes!" Jakotsu giggled. "It's the stuff you use when you want to nookie."

Suikotsu blushed and said sheepishly, "Oh… the lubricant… right…"

"Are you blushing, Sui?" The cross-dresser giggled.

"No… it's the fever…"

"Oh…" Jakotsu smiled knowingly. "So where can I find the love oil again?"

"It's on the back of Ren's desk over there… by the vase he keeps his watercolor brushes in…"

The cross-dresser stood up and walked over to the low desk in the corner. Picking up the bottle, he said, "Found it!" Jakotsu gently shook the bottle as he walked back over to the claw-bearer. Kneeling next to him, he said, "Hold out your hand."

Suikotsu held out his right hand and Jakotsu took it. Giving the bottle a quick little shake, Jakotsu poured a tiny amount of oil onto the claw-bearer's hand.

"Uh, Sui, when you make another batch of this, can you please make me some too? I'm nearly finished with mine." Jakotsu set the bottle down, and started massaging the oil into Suikotsu's dry skin. "You know, it's a pity I didn't know you were making more…" he said softly. He had incorrectly assumed the claw-bearer and his lover were having fun with the same frequency he was enjoying.

"Oh, we got that bottle quite awhile ago."

Jakotsu looked up him. "Awhile ago…? Like what, two days ago? You know, before they left?"

"No, I made that bottle about a month ago," Suikotsu said sheepishly.

Eyes widening in surprise, Jakotsu said, "A month ago…? What's the matter, Ren not in the mood?" The cross-dresser smiled impishly. "I know some really good aphrodisiacs…"

"No, it's just we don't need it a lot, hence the reason why we haven't used very much." The claw-bearer sighed softly.

"Oh…" Jakotsu frowned. "But nookie's fun, Sui, and good for you too…" He smiled. "It keeps you happy and very much in love with your sweetie."

"Oh, we nookie, Jak; we just don't do a lot of… _ahem_… penetration…"

Jakotsu blinked in confusion. "You nookie but you don't penetrate…? Where's the fun in that?"

Suikotsu shrugged. "No pain, less messy, but we still get some nice sensations going."

The cross-dresser nodded as he thought about it. "Yeah… But you get used to the pain and after a while you ignore it and look forward to it. I know I don't mind at all when it's Aniki-chan."

Suikotsu smiled and shrugged again. "To each his own I guess, but if you must know, Ren and I sort of save _that _for special occasions."

"Yeah?" Jakotsu smiled as he shrugged. "Then if it works for you…" Changing the subject, he added, "Let me see your other hand."

The claw-bearer held out his other hand for the cross-dresser. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations of the oil on his skin and the gentle massage Jakotsu gave his hand. Feeling relaxed, and figuring since he had shared some intimate details of his relationship with Renkotsu, Suikotsu decided to give into his curiosity about the cross-dresser. "So, have you ever penetrated Ban?"

"Oh no! I would never do that to Aniki-chan."

"Why not? Ren and I alternate."

"You do?" Jakotsu blinked in surprise. "But truthfully, Sui, I have no desire to ummm…" He giggled. "Penetrate Aniki-chan…"

"Yeah? Why not? I was just curious; you don't have to answer."

"No, that's okay…" Jakotsu thought it over. "I honestly don't know why… I guess it's cuz maybe I've always done things that way, even before I knew Aniki-chan, unless it's on the battlefield and I find a cute opponent to toy with…" Jakotsu grinned sadistically and Suikotsu was hard pressed to suppress a shudder.

Suikotsu nodded. "Fair explanation," he replied and after a moment he went on, changing the subject, "You have very skilled hands."

"Thank you." Jakotsu's face softened into a smile and the claw-bearer could see why their leader called him "Sweetness."

"Ren once said the same thing too… Remember when we went to that onsen? I gave Ren a hand massage there and he liked it too. I think he wanted me to teach you how to do it…"

"Teach me…?"

"Yeah… I bet Ren would really like that. He works a lot with his hands, no?"

"But Ren knows I'm already good with hand massages."

"He does…?" Jakotsu sighed softly. "Forget it then…"

"I give him ones all the time when his joints get sore after working on a project."

The cross-dresser nodded.

"Are you sure he didn't ask you to teach him?"

Jakotsu frowned as he thought about it. Shrugging, he said, "Maybe that what it was… I know Ren had asked me to teach someone, but I forgot who and when he didn't bother me about it…"

"Don't worry about it, Jak. I'm sure when Ren's ready he'll ask you again."

"Yeah… So, do you give him other massages…? You don't have to answer me if you don't want to."

Suikotsu smiled. "I think I've massaged just about every part of Ren's body, and let's just leave it at that."

"Okay…" Jakotsu giggled and a brief silence stretched between them when he grew lost in thought. "Ummm, Sui…so why don't you nookie more often, if you don't mind me asking? I would think that knowing how to give massages would lead to lots of nookie."

"We do nookie, Jak; we just don't penetrate a lot."

"Oh…" the cross-dresser said softly and it was clear from his tone that he was confused.

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yeah… it's very hard to believe… You love Ren and Ren loves you, and yet you don't express it physically… I don't understand, Sui. I know sex can be nothing, but it can be everything too…" Jakotsu sighed.

"Well, we do…" Suikotsu trailed off as he thought back to the time in the tent when Ren was wounded and they had not had a chance to be alone together in awhile. "Just differently…"

Jakotsu nodded. "Oh… Yes! There's other ways to be physical." He smiled knowingly. "Like what Aniki-chan does for me when he's finished. Or sometimes before…" The cross-dresser giggled. "That's like you and Ren, no? Give and take… but your roles are less defined. I think I get it, Sui." Jakotsu grinned proudly.

"It's mainly all foreplay, and yet we still enjoy it."

Jakotsu nodded. "So it becomes enough, like a lil taste of something sweet is better than eating the whole thing and it makes it more special for you, hunh?"

"Exactly!"

"I guess me and Aniki-chan have very big sweet tooths, hunh?" the cross-dresser giggled.

Suikotsu laughed. "That's a good way to put it."

"Yeah…" The cross-dresser smiled. "Ummm, I think I've done all I can with your hands, Sui. All you need to do is remember to keep putting this on. And don't worry; if you run out of it, I'll lend you mine."

"Thanks." Suikotsu chuckled. "If only I could get a hand massage every time I used it, I know I would remember."

Jakotsu giggled. "Well if you want, I can put it on for you. Maybe everyday after breakfast you come by to see me and I'll happily do it for you."

"That's a kind offer." The claw-bearer sighed. "If only Ren knew how to do it…"

"Hmmm…" Jakotsu thought it over. "Maybe I was supposed to teach Ren how to do it for you." He giggled. "That way if you get a lil happy, Ren'll take care of things for you." Jakotsu winked and the claw-bearer smiled back at him, looking very pleased with that idea. "So maybe we can start as soon as they get home!"

"Yeah…"

At that moment, Renkotsu tried sneaking into the room he shared with Suikotsu and was surprised to see he had company. "Good morning…"

Suikotsu smiled brightly. "You're home! And you're alright!"

"'morning, Ren…" Jakotsu leaned over and whispered loudly to Suikotsu, "See? I told you he'd be okay…" He stood up to leave. "Bye, Sui," he said, and turning to Renkotsu, he asked, "Where's Aniki-chan?"

"He's probably trying to sneak into your room and jump you."

Jakotsu's face lit up. "Yeah? Well, I'd better get going then. Hmmm… I wonder if I can sneak in and jump him instead…?" he said to himself as he headed towards the door. "Bye!" Jakotsu said as he left.

Renkotsu grinned at his lover. "Miss me?" he said as he came over and gave him a kiss.

"Very much…" Suikotsu said as he threw his arm around and pulled him close…


	3. Chapter 3: Sparrow

Sparrow

By kira

They were on their way home from a mission that had left Jakotsu oddly subdued and Suikotsu would steal an occasional glance at him to make sure he was alright. Thinking back over the past events, nothing in particular stood out that was terribly traumatic. It was in fact the type of mission the two of them could do in their sleep; get in, kill the daimyo and his family as quickly and quietly as possible and get out, leaving the place intact.

So they walked home, taking the more scenic route through the woods, while the claw-bearer did his best to keep up a one-sided conversation. It was not long before they had lapsed into silence again while they solemnly brooded.

"People get reborn all the time, right?" Jakotsu asked softly.

"I think so, Jak. Why?"

The cross-dresser shrugged. "I dunno, I was just wondering…"

"Okay, but if you're still wondering when we get home, I suggest you go see Ren about it. He did grow up in a monastery so he'd have more knowledge about those kinds of things than I do." Frowning, he stopped and grabbed Jakotsu's arm, forcing him to stop as well. "You're not nursing some injury I should know about, are you?"

"No…"

"You sure?" the claw-bearer asked when it hit him. Something about the cross-dresser's subdued demeanor reminded him of the incident with young princess at the castle. That had been the main reason why Bankotsu had insisted they go together; Jakotsu had no qualms against killing women and children whereas Suikotsu did. And things did go smoothly until Jakotsu had found the daimyo's youngest children. They were huddled together in the far corner of the room, the girl's arms thrown protectively around her little brother as she watched him approach. Suikotsu, who had arrived on the scene minutes later, saw his comrade-in-arms pull his sword about halfway from its scabbard when he froze. When it appeared he would stand there forever like that, the claw-bearer quickly pushed past him and finished the job, and the sight of the blood spattering everywhere was enough to rouse Jakotsu from his stupor. Twenty minutes later they handed the castle over to its new owner in exchange for payment and that was the end of it, or so the claw-bearer had thought.

But now, when Jakotsu merely nodded, Suikotsu was not so sure he was as fine as he claimed to be. This sad and listless behavior was something the claw-bearer had only seen a few times before and that was mainly whenever Bankotsu was sick or injured, although the occasional fight with his lover often produced the same results. Yet Suikotsu knew that if given enough time, something they definitely had plenty of on the way home, Jakotsu would eventually open up and tell him what was wrong. Pushing his own remorseful thoughts aside, Suikotsu waited patiently for the cross-dresser to decide the time was right.

So they continued on their way in silence and the claw-bearer was starting to wonder if his fellow teammate was ever going to tell what was bothering him, when Jakotsu stopped and fell to his knees.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered over and over again to a small bundle of leaves that turned out to be a dead bird. When Suikotsu came over to him, he shrieked, "Be careful you don't hurt her!"

"Hurt who, Jak?" the claw-bearer said softly.

Jakotsu looked up at him and said, "Sparrow…"

"Sparrow?" Suikotsu repeated as the cross-dresser nodded.

"She was the only one in that hell-hole who was ever nice to me and they let her die, Sui…"

"I'm sorry…"

"She had a fever and it took her three long scary days to die… and nobody did a thing about it. Not even her sister Dove cared if she lived or died, although nobody wanted to work after she died. Not that it mattered as we didn't have much business anyway. There was a fever going through the village and I suppose it was just lucky that only Sparrow got sick and died…"

"Yes and you're lucky you didn't get sick too. But you know, Jak, sometimes these things can't be helped."

"I know…" Jakotsu sighed.

"But that isn't what's bothering you, is it?"

"No…" he looked at Suikotsu sadly. "Sui, when I was little, I remember Sparrow telling me, that when die, we'd leave that hell-hole for good and that we'd be reborn as a prince and princess…"

"And you'll live happily ever after…?"

"Yeah…" the cross-dresser said sheepishly.

"And you think maybe that little princess was her?"

The cross-dresser shrugged.

"Jak," Suikotsu sighed. "I don't know for sure whether or not it was her, but if your friend did get reborn as a princess, it's possible she could have been someone else…"

"Someone I might have killed before without a moment's thought?" Jakotsu said sadly.

It was Suikotsu's turn to shrug. "No, not necessarily. Did it ever occur to you she might have been reborn as a prince and you're the one who's going to get reborn as a princess?"

"No… but…"

"But nothing," Suikotsu said and softening his tone, he went on, "Jak, if you don't mind telling me, how long ago did she die?"

"Ummm…" Jakotsu tried counting the years on his fingers. "Ten years ago…? I was seven, I think, when she died …" He paused to think about it. "Ummm, Sui," he said, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. "Do you think she was reborn as Aniki-chan? Sparrow liked wearing her hair in a long braid down her back too."

Suikotsu tried not to laugh at the cross-dresser's mathematical skills as it was impossible for that suggestion to happen because that would have made their young leader five years shy of his actual age. Still, if it made him feel better to think that, then who was he to disabuse Jakotsu of the idea. "Yes, I do. You see? She missed you so much, that she came back as someone you came to love very much."

"Yeah…" Jakotsu's smile broadened. "And that's why Aniki-chan came to rescue me from there?!"

Suikotsu nodded. "Yes. And I think we should start heading home too, before Oo-Aniki misses you too much." He extended his hand and pulled Jakotsu to his feet.

"Thanks, Sui…"

"No problem."

And as they finished their journey home, Jakotsu regaled the claw-bearer with various tales about their leader and his connection to the small brown birds that gave a long dead child-prostitute her name…


End file.
